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Corrandion, Corridane
I am JT, Ringer, nutjob, and archer, in that order. I like animated films, epic films, book films, movie music, folk music, and the occasional random other thing. I make friends by accident and like it that way...

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06 February 2010

First real Scene

Scene One
(A man can be seen lying on the floor of a room, shouting for a servant)
(Servant enters)
Servant: (surprised) “What happened?
?: (still shouting) “I nearly- pledge me secrecy about this- fell to an assassin.”
Servant: “Tell me why this should be kept secret? Do you not want the man caught? And how did you survive?”
?: (reveals armor underneath his suit, while still shouting at the servant) “That is exactly why it should be a secret to all! If these men discover that I am still alive, they will finish me within the week! My only hope is to go into hiding and break them as a common man. Now, I insist that you forget your service to me. Do not tell the world I am alive until I see fit to release you, but ask the Duke to replace me slowly. ”
Servant: (low tone) “I pledge that I shall forget you, as you ask, and join the new Sheriff.”


  1. The line "A terrible thing has occured to me can you not see?" is a bit cheesey. You might want to erase it and ,might replace it with "What Happened?" and then Will Cantrel should look at the blood on his shirt surprised the servant couldn't tell and then says "What happened?" the servent than says, "Who's done this?"
    and then it can continue.

    ~The Scarlet Pimpernel

  2. I see what you mean and will erase the line in question, but i don't have to ask who's done it, as that is what is to be revealed.


Thanks for commenting. I would like to know your thoughts if you have just survived an episode of my writing...:)