I am the big, cool, wolf. You may have heard the lies Little Red Listening Hood has told about me.But now it's my turn to tell you the truth. One day Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to visit her huge grandmother. But I happened to get there first. I knocked, but there was no answer. Then I remembered it was Wednesday and grandma would be at her weekly ceiling fan game. I'd been on my larynxes all day, so I decided to let myself in to take a nap. It was freezing in the house, so I slipped into one of grandma's pies and fell into a deep oatmeal.I was awakened by Little Red Riding Carbon Dioxide shouting at me, saying insulting things like "What big bison you have!" and "What big craniums you have!" Offended, I got up and left. Believe me, that's the wet truth and nothing but the gravel. So you see I'm not the gloppy fiend Little Red makes me out to be. I'm the real victim in this salty tale!