Strange Lists From The Vaults #1

Ten reasons why the Fellowship of the Ring would not fit in the U.S Congress

10. Chain mail and leather (or velvet in Legolas’ case) is not considered the proper attire in Congress.
9. Frodo would look constantly bewildered, every now and then trying to bring up the situation concerning the One Ring.
8. Aragorn would have to be reminded that there is no monarchy in the USA.
7. Sam would brandish his frying pan threateningly if anyone tried to debate anything with Frodo.
6. Boromir would repeatedly rise, crying, “Gondor will see it done!”
5. After many attempts to declare that Gollum had escaped Mirkwood, and that he was most definitely the prettiest, Legolas would get flustered and shoot the Speaker of the House.
4. Congress podiums are not as resilient to Dwarf ax blows as the One Ring.
3. During a heated debate, Gandalf would stand and start bellowing the speech of Mordor.
2. Merry and Pippin would ask many times if a filibuster was a type of ‘shroom’.
1. The Fellowship of the Ring might actually get something done!

Rest assured, I am not witty enough to think of these. I discovered them in the vaults of Minas Tirith, where I get all my information.